Hoka 10k 2018

Hoka 10k 2018

Friday, October 11, 2013

Transparent and Vulnerable

I cried last night...a lot. I feel like I have these days that I feel, in a way, depressed. On those days, there is no reason I should feel that way...I just do. 

Last night, I felt extremely discouraged. My pelvis has been hurting this week. Not severely, but enough to be annoying. (I realize I'm just growing and that's a good thing for labor). It was bothering me more last night, probably because I was sitting more than usual yesterday. I got so anxious about the potential of this pain turning into something much worse. I can't stand the thought of not being my normal, active self. And I cried about it...a lot.
I've also been very uneasy about having baby showers. I love giving gifts but CAN'T STAND the thought of receiving them. It's so weird. I just know that people work hard for their money and I don't want them spending it on me. I am not worth you spending your money on me! This has really been bugging me lately and I'm not sure how to overcome it. 
I know this is all so random but it has me in a funk.

1 comment:

  1. Lisa, you are going through a season with so many NORMAL emotions. Its scary and happy and overwhelming and thats ok. Allow yourself to feel these things and try not to be so hard on yourself. If you weren't a person that was compassionate and caring then these things wouldn't bother you but it shows your heart and how big it is for others. Just remember it feels good to give gifts, I love giving gifts to others it is my love language and makes me feel good to do something for someone else so although you feel like it's an inconvenience for others to spend money on you it's an opportunity that they love and you may be denying them the ability to show love in their language by not allowing them to shower you right now for baby. Hang in there I pray for you often and I promise you this season wont last forever and your going to be a wonderful mommy, I can see it now in how much you care for your baby.