When my mind is bothered by something or someone(s), it helps to write down words that come to mind. I don't always know what words will be written. I just write down what I feel lead to write at the time. After writing down the words, I'll look up the exact definitions so that I can better relate it to my situation. These are the words I wrote down today:
- Friendship- the relationship of being friends (a person you like, enjoy being with; a person who helps and supports someone)
- Loyalty- a feeling of strong support for someone or something
- Gossip- information about the behavior and personal lives of other people; talking about the private details of other people's lives
- Malice- desire to cause harm to another person
- Slander- to make a false spoken statement that causes people to have a bad opinion of someone
- Two-faced- not honest or sincere; saying different things to different people in order to get their approval instead of speaking and behaving honestly
- Insecurity-not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well
- Animosity- a strong feeling of dislike
I'm not saying these are all feelings that I have or words that describe me. They are just words that came to my mind.
It starts off well...friendship, loyalty. Then I have 6 horrible words that make you forget about the first two. I am 32 years old and I feel like I'm living in a world of babies. Immature adults (older than me!) that act like they have no clue how to be adults. It blows my mind the way people act sometimes. Not only do people act like fools, but they pretend it's ok and that it's normal.
And while we're on the topic of things that blow my mind, it also blows my mind that:
- "Adults" talk poop about other adults; said adults find out and try to confront them about it in order to have an adult conversation, then the said "adults" deny the action that is known as being true.....was that hard to follow?
- People can be so insecure that they have to hurt other people, particularly behind their backs, to make themselves feel better. What sense does it make to hurt others to make yourself feel BETTER?!
- Finally, it blows my mind that I can allow such people to cause animosity in my own heart. Did y'all hear that? I'm allowing these "adults" to cause animosity in my own, Christian, heart.
My sincere prayer today is that I can shake these people and rid my heart of this animosity. Despite the way their actions make me feel, I pray I can ignore those actions and not allow it to make me feel this way. I pray I can stay loyal to those who are most precious to me...those who I call friends. I pray that my passion for protecting these friends doesn't cause this animosity that I feel at times.
Phew. That was hard.