Hoka 10k 2018

Hoka 10k 2018

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Conflicted...My Struggle With Envy

1st: This is my 300th post! I wish it wasn't so serious! LOL.
2nd: Formal definitions help me.
Conflicted: be incompatible or at variance; clash
Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
I'm a mom/wife and I work full time. I love my job, but I love Mr. and Baby Boo more. I've had many, many thoughts, the past couple weeks or so, about working part time. I think about how awesome it would be to:
  •  Get JUST ONE extra hour of sleep (which means waking up at 645 instead of 545)
  • Drink my coffee in the comfort of my own home (instead of in my car between work duties)
  • Spend more time during the week with James
  • Run during the day so I could spend more time with Mr. Boo in the evening
  • Do my devotional while James is napping (rather than in the morning when every single thing seems to interrupt me)
...and the list goes on and on.
I am so thankful for the wonderful job that I have and for the things it provides for my family, BUT I also get super annoyed by the fact that, because of my career choice, I have student loans up the butt. Jimmy and I are doing a really good job paying extra towards them but we still have a long way to go...then we start saving for retirement...UGH!!! IT NEVER ENDS!!
There is more to life than being worried about paying stupid bills. Sometimes I hate being responsible! I wish I could put some of our bills on pause for 5 or 6 years until our kids (no I'm not pregnant) are in school. I want to enjoy these first few years because they go fast and they are so precious.
Because  of all of these things above, I am very envious of moms who stay home with their babies. No matter which route you take, being "mommy" isn't an easy road. I want more time with my baby. I'm not saying I want to be full time stay at home mom but I do wish I was part time stay at home mom :)

1 comment:

  1. Honey, let's talk. I have been through it all, I have real-life insight into your every emotion. You and me, and a cocktail. Not to take you away from the boys ... let's have a date with the 5 of us, then you and I can walk away from the boys for a bit to talk. I am 23 years down the road and still emotional about the choices we professional moms make.