C.U.T.E.

Completely (C), utterly (U), and totally (T) exhausted (E)...that's me. I'm in some form of a major funk this week. I'm nauseous ALL THE TIME (please don't ask me if I'm pregnant...I might have to throat punch you) and I can't seem to sleep.

 

Sunday, I was so tired that I could have fallen asleep at 7pm and been happy. When 10pm rolled around and I could actually make the bed thing happen, I wasn't able to fall asleep. I seriously stared into the wild yonder for 3 HOURS!!! Yes, you read that right. I finally went to the couch at 1am and probably fell asleep by 1:30. It happened again last night but I wasn't up as late. I was supposed to get up and run at they gym but that didn't happen.

 

That's another part of my funk...running. I think I've finally hit my limit of early mornings. I'm now understanding why I always hibernate from running in the winter (or run on the treadmill). These 3:45 to 4 am wake up calls during the week are killing me. Then I turn around and get up anytime between 5 and 6 am on the weekends. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?! If it weren't for the friendships and the running goals, my butt would be SO HAPPY to "sleep in" until 7 or 730!

 

I don't know what I need right now. Encouragement, maybe? A race to prove that this is all worth it? I run early so it won't take time away from Mr. and Baby Boo.

 

Weeks are the hardest because, when I get home, it's go, go, go. Start dinner, put away crap from the day, prep crap for the next day, eat dinner with my family (the only time I get to sit and have quality interaction with James until he goes to bed), do chores (Boo helps, of course), and put baby to bed. If I'm lucky, I get to have extra play time with James.  On really fun nights, I have documentation to do for work after James goes to bed.

 

I feel like a lousy mother/wife/etc. Life can't be all about doing meaningless things that are necessary. I don't know what I'm asking for by typing all of this. I just know that I always feel better when I get it out.

 

I missed my run this morning because I was C.U.T.E. so I'll head to the gym after work and hope for the best.