Hoka 10k 2018

Hoka 10k 2018

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Self seeking and Easily Angered

OBVIOUSLY, I'm going through some things lately! I'm in a total funk (physically and mentally) and I just don't feel like myself. Ugh. Anyway, usually when that happens it's because I'm a little more distant from The Lord than I usually am (this time it's also because post pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones have taken over me!).
One of my issues is that I'm letting certain peoples' actions get me down. I'm thinking about these things A LOT and I can't get them out of my brain. It got to the point that I've wanted to totally shut this stuff out of my life in order to stop thinking about it.  I've taken steps towards doing this so maybe it will just take time.
One of the ways I've tried to deal with this situation is by showing love despite the actions I feel are wrong. People do wrong, I show love anyway. I mean, I'd want others to do the same for me. In fact, I've had moments the past couple of weeks that I've let things bother me to the point that I blow and act sarcastic, passive aggressive, etc. I would like to think I'd be forgiven and loved despite my moments of weakness.
Here's where I struggle. When I see an ongoing pattern in someone(s) and that pattern has been there for what seems like FOREVER, you start to wonder how you are supposed to deal with it. How can you keep loving someone(s) that just doesn't change?!
Then I think about how Jesus loves me. I'm that person that doesn't seem to change. I keep doing the same crap over and over but HE LOVES ME and has for 32 years and then some. I took the following quote from the devotional I read today:
"The only way to truly impact the people within our sphere of influence is to love them beyond what is humanly possible. By doing so, we show them Jesus..."
Why is that so hard?! I'm trying SO HARD  to make this happen but it is not easy. Ugh. If I continue to show love to these people, how will they know what they are doing and how they need to change?! This is my struggle. How to show love even though I feel people need to change a pattern in their life.

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