Hoka 10k 2018

Hoka 10k 2018

Thursday, December 4, 2014

This. Week.

Man...fun things just keep happening this week. I've got to get it all out of my brain or I won't be able to sleep or function.
Most of y'all know about the breastfeeding thing (just used my last bag of frozen stash today and will go all formula minus the times I can nurse him). I'm almost over this one.
And there was yesterday...which most of you also know about. Someone else commented about my size, saying I was too skinny (something I struggle with). I'm still mentally dealing with this.
And then, Jimmy and I received some news yesterday that really made us sad...
Jimmy has a friend of about 2 or 3 years named Jeff. Jimmy met him through playing sand volleyball in the summer. Sadly, Jeff may be passing away in the next couple of days. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer and started his battle about a year and a half ago. He is only in his mid 40s. He has been so strong through all of this and has been such an inspiration. He has been knocked down many times but always bounced back and beat the odds. He was able to marry his love, Susan, about a month ago and he also has a daughter who, I believe, is around 20 years old.
Jeff is under hospice care at this time and Jimmy and I are hoping to see him later today. This brings up so many horrible memories of when my Mamaw passed away. She had lung cancer that spread to her brain. When she was diagnosed, she did not share this information with the family. About 6 months later, the family found out when she had to be brought to the hospital because she was in her home sitting in her own body fluids and couldn't speak anything that made sense. I believe she was in the hospital about a week before passing away. I just remember going to see her at the hospital and she had NO CLUE WHO I WAS. That was the most heart breaking moment in my life.
I'm not as close to Jeff as Jimmy or any of Jeff's other friends but I am so scared to visit him for that same reason. I don't want to relive that feeling of someone you know and care about not even recognizing who you are. He may not be to that point yet but part of me doesn't want to find out.  I'm praying so hard for his family and friends right now. I don't see Jimmy cry often but tears were in his eyes this morning and that breaks my heart.
I don't know what else to say but I know that it helps me to type all of this out.


  1. So many prayers. It's such a hard space to be in: to support your husband, respectful of close family and friends, and still grieve/process yourself. Will be praying for you!!!!