Disconnecting + Update + Random Pictures

My silly boys.

What have I been up to since my Thanksgiving 5k? I'm sure all 40 of you are dying to know, and, well, 20 of you probably already know. I'm still running only 26-30 miles per week and on track to meet my 2015 in 2015 goal!

My mommy.

 

Since the race:

• Friday 11/27- 5 miles on my parents' mill, 8:35 average pace. Progressed from 8:57 to 8:20 min/mile. I needed this easy run to loosen up all the tightness from that race. That trail and those hills had my muscles confused!
• Saturday 11/28- 11.14 miles in Winchester, VA, 9:11 average pace. I met the sweet Karen earlier this year when I was visiting my parents. I didn't want to do my long run alone. I decided to hit her up again for this trip. I LOVED running in Winchester again!! It's a beautiful city with unavoidable hills.
• Monday 11/30- 5 miles, 8:40 average pace. Easy treadmill run at the Y. I had a break in the middle of my work day so I'm sure my afternoon patients appreciated my aroma.

James and Grandma making funny faced selfies!

This brought me to the end of November with a total of 124.08 miles. My lowest of the year! Yay! To celebrate my month of taper/recovery/rest, I did my first speed workout today. 6 miles, 8:00 average pace: 2 mile progressive warm up, 1.5 miles @7:30, 3 min recovery, 1 mile @6:57, 3 min recovery, 0.5 miles @6:39, recover to 6 miles. My legs handled it well considering I did Body Pump this morning. I thought for sure my legs would fall off.

 

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"Donut Worry, Be Happy."

 

My health...mental and physical. It's been a mess. As I've mentioned in recent posts, my GERD has exacerbated in full force. My nausea has gotten worse the past week and has not subsided. If I hadn't had my period the day after Indy, I would think I was pregnant. The nausea is unbearable and lasts all day long. At least it's intermittent but I can't identify if anything is helping it to go away.

Dressing up for the occasion?

 

Nausea, pregnancy...this leads me to my mental health. I'm beside myself with this trying to get pregnant thing. It's driving me absolutely crazy. I think about it daily. I analyze everything I feel in my body and wonder if I could be pregnant. I've taken a bazillion tests just to be disappointed a bazillion times. I knew it might take longer the second time around. I mean, we got pregnant with James in the second month of trying. It's been 9 months and I'm mentally done. I want to forget about it and just let it happen when it happens, but my personality doesn't allow for that.

 

I'm a planner. In my mind, I can't plan anything until I know when I'll be pregnant. I can't plan family vacations, races, etc., until I know when a little one will be arriving. I also remember how miserable I was having James in the winter. Sure, I had 10 weeks off of work, but that 10 weeks sucked butt because it was in the middle of an often single digit winter. In my world, I am not allowing that to happen again.

 

As you can assume, my head starts doing math. OK...I have to get pregnant by December which means I'll find out in January and that will give me a baby before October hits. PERFECT! Except that I'm not pregnant yet. Now, in my mind, I have a deadline which, of course, increases the pressure and stress. UGH.

 

As I told my close friends when I shared my struggle, I'm not looking for advice. I know I need to chill out, enjoy it, not care when I get pregnant, God's timing not mine...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. That all may be true but it's not how my brain works and it doesn't make me feel better.

OBSESSED with lights. I can't wait to take him to Wildlights at the zoo!

Because I'm going nuts with this crap, I've been trying to disconnect myself slightly from Facebook. My goal has always been to put myself out there, be completely honest, and let others know that they aren't alone in their struggles...whether big or small. I don't know if this disconnection will last days, weeks...I'm shocked that I've made it two days with minimal Facebook contact. LOL.

 

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I'll certainly continue to share my joys and struggles with y'all through this baby making process and through my health issues. I did get a phone call from my PCP yesterday stating that they approved a referral to see a specialist for my GERD. I'm expecting to hear from the specialist this week about an appointment! As of know, I'm struggling with nausea and chest pain. It sucks. It hurts. I would love relief but I know others struggle more than me so I'll deal with it and try not to whine too much about it.