Conflicted...My Struggle With Envy

1st: This is my 300th post! I wish it wasn't so serious! LOL.

 

2nd: Formal definitions help me.

 

Conflicted: be incompatible or at variance; clash

 

Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.

 

 

I'm a mom/wife and I work full time. I love my job, but I love Mr. and Baby Boo more. I've had many, many thoughts, the past couple weeks or so, about working part time. I think about how awesome it would be to:

•  Get JUST ONE extra hour of sleep (which means waking up at 645 instead of 545)
• Drink my coffee in the comfort of my own home (instead of in my car between work duties)
• Spend more time during the week with James
• Run during the day so I could spend more time with Mr. Boo in the evening
• Do my devotional while James is napping (rather than in the morning when every single thing seems to interrupt me)

 

...and the list goes on and on.

 

I am so thankful for the wonderful job that I have and for the things it provides for my family, BUT I also get super annoyed by the fact that, because of my career choice, I have student loans up the butt. Jimmy and I are doing a really good job paying extra towards them but we still have a long way to go...then we start saving for retirement...UGH!!! IT NEVER ENDS!!

 

There is more to life than being worried about paying stupid bills. Sometimes I hate being responsible! I wish I could put some of our bills on pause for 5 or 6 years until our kids (no I'm not pregnant) are in school. I want to enjoy these first few years because they go fast and they are so precious.

 

Because  of all of these things above, I am very envious of moms who stay home with their babies. No matter which route you take, being "mommy" isn't an easy road. I want more time with my baby. I'm not saying I want to be full time stay at home mom but I do wish I was part time stay at home mom :)