Pride And Humility Are On My Mind

I always preface these types of posts with the following: I am NOT a deep thinker in any form or fashion. With that being said, there is something that has been piercing my brain lately and I can't seem to shake it. When that happens, I take it to my husband who takes me to the Bible.

 

I haven't completely committed to the sin of pride lately but even the thought is enough in God's eyes. There have been some situations lately that have tempted me to go the route of pride rather than humility. Although I feel I've made the right decisions, for the most part, it's been extremely challenging to keep my mouth shut and just let it be.

 

Mr.Boo gave me three verses to look up:

• Proverbs 11:2- Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
• Proverbs 13:10a- Pride leads to conflict;
• Proverbs 18:12- Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor.

 

I tend to have to break out the dictionary when I read the Bible because my vocab isn't the best. Also, even if I know the meaning, reading it and writing it down can give me more insight. So, here are the definitions I looked up:

 

• Disgrace- loss of reputation or respect, especially as the result of a dishonorable action
• Haughtiness- the appearance or quality of being arrogantly superior and disdainful
• Disdainful- showing lack of respect

 

I need to keep in mind that other peoples' opinions and assumptions about me don't matter. I also need to keep in mind that I don't know other peoples' situations in their entirety. Therefore, I have no right to form opinions and assumptions about them. I just need to swallow my pride (i.e. give it to the LORD) and be a shining light of love for my Jesus. This is my prayer.



The Classic New Year Blog 2015

As usual, I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I do set goals. Last year, I picked a "word of the year." My word was "INSPIRE." I'm not 100% sure if I accomplished that goal! I will say that, if I inspired at least one person, my year was victorious :)

 

I also had five goals last year. As I look back at my list, I know I met #3 & #4....the rest are based on other people's opinions.

 

**********

 

My 2015 Goals:

 

1. Get pregnant :) I wanted to start the getting pregnant process 2 MONTHS AGO! So what's the deal?! Mr. Boo promised me an awesome 5 year anniversary vacation in April and he "strongly suggests" that I not be pregnant on this vacation. So, to distract me from wanting to get pregnant, he lets me sign up for races...which leads me to the next few goals for 2015.
2. Run a 1:40 half marathon. OMG. I can't believe I even typed that. Go big or go home, I guess! I PR'd (personal record) this year with a time of 1:50:13. After a 12 mile test run last weekend, I was on pace to break 1:45. My friends convinced me that I needed to set a challenging goal for the DC half in March so here I go!!!

   
3. Marathon PR. I've been saying all year that I probably won't run a full marathon until after I'm finished having kids. I just felt like it was too much of a commitment. Now that I'm waking up at the butt crack of dawn (and then some) to run, I feel like I can make that commitment. I've also never trained outside in the winter so that's been new to me too! My current PR is 4:35 (way back in 2005...Little Rock Marathon!!). So, based on my recent performance, I should have no problem meeting this goal. The problem? It's all mental. I had a horrible full marathon experience two years ago and I have zero confidence. I'm hoping as my long runs increase in mileage, it will make me feel better about running a PR. I'm not 100% sure what my goal time will end up being but, right now, it would be a dream to get a sub 4 hour time.

   
4. Run a half marathon while pregnant. If the good Lord allows me to get pregnant this year, I would LOVE to run a half marathon with my growing little munchkin. I'll probably plan a couple of races for the fall in hopes it will allow me to accomplish my goal.
5. Enjoy my anniversary vacation to the fullest! I have been so anxious about this vacation. I am going to have to leave James for 6 days!! I can't even imagine. Even though it will be incredibly hard at first, I know that Jimmy and I really need this. If we aren't a good husband/wife team, we can't be good parents to James. And if we're wanting baby #2, a vacation like this will not be in our near future!

 

Nothing mind blowing or earth shattering but they are my goals :) Now it's up to you guys to do your part to help me make these happen!

Big Changes for #jd3

So, it's official...as of Christmas day, I stopped breastfeeding. Since my supply began to decrease at the end of October/beginning of November, I started supplementing with formula. Then it got to the point that it wasn't worth pumping at work. When that happened, I started feeding James when he woke up in the morning and in the evenings at home. The last couple of weeks, it seemed as if James wasn't getting enough milk during his feedings so I would give him more milk (from a bottle) afterwards. It was at that point I realized I would have to stop breastfeeding sooner than later.

Part of me was a little bummed but the other part of me felt really good about what I was able to do for my son. Now that he's ONE YEAR OLD and can "officially" drink cow milk, it's become less stressful in the Davis household.

*side note: At some point in the near future, I will do James' "turning one" blog post.


**********

On a different, but related, note, we are actively transitioning James away from the bottle. In the words of my lovely hubby, Mr. Boo, "This is going to be hell." True words. James LOVES the bottle. He loved the boob, too, but hasn't noticed it's been missing from his diet.

There is so much crap out there about transitioning from the bottle. Feel free to share your experience (mostly because I love hearing other mommas' stories). Here's what we have currently decided to do. He usually goes to bed/nap with a bottle in hand (except when I breastfed him, of course). We have stopped doing that by having him drink before we even put him into the crib. We also decided to stop giving him milk in a bottle before his first nap of the day. We put it in a sippy cup. If he chooses to drink it, GREAT! If he doesn't, he goes without (This is mostly because he typically eats his breakfast before napping and it's about lunch time when he wakes up. We figure, if he misses that milk, it shouldn't affect him in a negative way).

Another thing we started, last night, is to put his last milk feeding in a sippy. It broke my heart! He cried like crazy for 10+ minutes about the cup. He knew milk was in there but absolutely refused to drink from the cup. When he finally calmed down, I had the cup close to his lips and he decided to grab it and drink! He only drank 1 1/2 oz. but we decided that was a victory. We did end up putting the rest of it in the bottle because he didn't eat well yesterday due to travelling.

So, here starts the sippy cup adventure. Please tell me your stories!

The Santa Race 5k

After doing a few long distance races this fall, it was kind of nice to run a 5k. Even though the weather was crappy, I knew it would be over in 3.1! This race was SO MUCH FUN!!! They limited it to a few hundred runners so it was easy to park and find friends. It was held at Creekside in Gahanna (the place where I have the pleasure of calling home).

I was co-creator (along with Jackie) of a team called "8 Maids a Milking." We are all mothers who are either nursing or have nursed in the past. We all had shirts with big ole milk jugs on the front (some bigger than others). Unfortunately, one of our maids wasn't able to make it but she was there in spirit! We also saw other MRTT (Moms Run This Town) mommas before and after the race.

I ran a 5k last year, when I was pregnant, at Creedside so I was familiar with this course. I warned Jackie that, if it was the same course I ran, there were at least 2 hills. I think there were actually three but one felt like more of a gradual incline. It was an out and back course that started at Creekside and connected to the trail. They had one drink station at the halfway point. I really have no complaints about the course. I started towards the front so I didn't have a hard time passing people at the start. By the time I got to the turn around point, people were spread out enough that it didn't cause any issues running back to the finish. The thing I loved about this out and back course is that I was able to cheer for my fellow team members as we passed each other. It was really neat to see everyone having such a great time. We all ran really well!

 I had no time goal for this race. I just wanted to run and finish without exacerbating my injuries. Mission was accomplished. I felt great the whole time! Sure I was a little tight through the weekend but didn't feel any pain.
Bonus: To my surprise, as I was approaching the finish line, I noticed that the clock read 23 minutes and some change. I heard the announcer mention that the clock was about 30 seconds from hitting 24 minutes. It was something about that statement that lit a fire up my butt and made me just go! I felt like I looked amazing but my finishing looks aren't usually my strong suit :) I ended up finishing just under 24 minutes with a time of 23:53!! I'm honestly not sure if this is a lifetime PR (personal record) because I know I ran faster splits in high school but, back then, our races were only 2 miles so I have no idea what a 5k time would have been back then. So, I would like to think this is my PR. I know it's my fastest 5k in at least 10 or so years so we're gonna say it's my new PR!

My one and only complaint about this race is the pictures. The website took forever to load and you had to look through ALL of the pictures to find the ones of yourself. My pictures sucked so bad. There were none of me on the course or at the start. There was one right before the finish in which I gave a thumbs up but my giraffe neck was looking crazy. The three finishing photos they had were all of me looking at my phone to turn off my running app. Totally disappointing. Despite that, we took some fun post race shots :)

This. Week.

Man...fun things just keep happening this week. I've got to get it all out of my brain or I won't be able to sleep or function.

 

Most of y'all know about the breastfeeding thing (just used my last bag of frozen stash today and will go all formula minus the times I can nurse him). I'm almost over this one.

 

 

And there was yesterday...which most of you also know about. Someone else commented about my size, saying I was too skinny (something I struggle with). I'm still mentally dealing with this.

 

And then, Jimmy and I received some news yesterday that really made us sad...

 

Jimmy has a friend of about 2 or 3 years named Jeff. Jimmy met him through playing sand volleyball in the summer. Sadly, Jeff may be passing away in the next couple of days. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer and started his battle about a year and a half ago. He is only in his mid 40s. He has been so strong through all of this and has been such an inspiration. He has been knocked down many times but always bounced back and beat the odds. He was able to marry his love, Susan, about a month ago and he also has a daughter who, I believe, is around 20 years old.

 

Jeff is under hospice care at this time and Jimmy and I are hoping to see him later today. This brings up so many horrible memories of when my Mamaw passed away. She had lung cancer that spread to her brain. When she was diagnosed, she did not share this information with the family. About 6 months later, the family found out when she had to be brought to the hospital because she was in her home sitting in her own body fluids and couldn't speak anything that made sense. I believe she was in the hospital about a week before passing away. I just remember going to see her at the hospital and she had NO CLUE WHO I WAS. That was the most heart breaking moment in my life.

 

I'm not as close to Jeff as Jimmy or any of Jeff's other friends but I am so scared to visit him for that same reason. I don't want to relive that feeling of someone you know and care about not even recognizing who you are. He may not be to that point yet but part of me doesn't want to find out.  I'm praying so hard for his family and friends right now. I don't see Jimmy cry often but tears were in his eyes this morning and that breaks my heart.

 

I don't know what else to say but I know that it helps me to type all of this out.

Hot Chocolate 15k

It occurred to me yesterday, TWO WEEKS AFTER THE RACE, that I haven't done my race recap! We'll just blame it on mommy brain.

In all my years of running and racing, this was my FIRST 15k! I've been battling this Hamstring/Piriformis injury all season so I had no real expectation for my time. Based on how my legs had been feeling, I thought running in the 8s was reasonable. With that being said, I wanted to average better than my previous half marathon splits so I wanted to be in the low 8s.

Well, low 8s didn't happen BUT mid 8s did :) I really can't complain about that considering my legs felt AWFUL!

Jackie and I learned from our mistakes during the Columbus Half and decided to ride to the race together. We got there super early and it was so cold!!! BUT, the plus side is that the port-o-potties were unused, very clean, and we got to be the first to stink them up :)

Waiting to start!

It blew me away how many corrals they had at this race. I think it was something like A though M (most races I've done are A through D). We were in C so the wait wasn't too bad. I remember the start being so congested that you couldn't pass people. Once the course widened and people were passed, I realized I was having an awful time trying to breathe in the cold air. I also realized that I ran WAY TO FAST trying to pass people that my leg was already starting to bother me. Ugh. I think I ran with Jackie about 2 miles when I told her to go ahead and leave me. I knew I couldn't hold that pace with my leg giving me fits.

I was initially bummed about my pain but, when I slowed down a bit, I realized I would take advantage of the scenery and just enjoy it. I was hurting pretty bad by 4 miles but I knew I had to keep my spirits up. I really enjoyed running up High Street through Short North and OSU campus. I even stopped to take some pics!

Although the scenery was enjoyable and the crowd was awesome and supportive, I wanted to punch one guy. He was at the corner of some street as we were rounding campus yelling "It's all down hill from here!" I thought, "SWEET! I won't have to deal with any more hills!" I'm not sure what he was smoking but, just after he said that and we rounded the corner, there was a big ole hill! There were about 5 others around me cursing the guy under their breath!

The last part of the race seemed like it took forever! I'm pretty sure my leg would have fallen off if I had to do any more. I was so happy to be finished so that I could enjoy my hot chocolate :) My fast friend, Jackie, and I stuck around to enjoy the festivities for a few but it was so stinkin' cold that we wanted to leave. BONUS: her car has heated seats and it felt SO AMAZING!

Overall, the course was awesome minus the congestion at the beginning and the hills (which I don't mind so much when my legs are healthy). If it wasn't so cold I would have enjoyed the after party a little more. The thing I didn't like is that there was an expo to pick up packets and I had to pay $10 to park in order to get into the Convention Center.


Next race: The Santa Race 5k in Gahanna, Ohio on December 6th!


P.S. This review/recap would be so much better if I had written it 2 weeks ago! Lesson learned.

I Know I Shouldn't Feel This Way BUT...

By far, above all other challenges of becoming a mother, BREASTFEEDING/PUMPING has been MY biggest challenge.

 

When James turned 10 months (he will be 11 months on Friday!),  I noticed that my milk supply had significantly decreased. I had a small stash in the freezer and was still able to pump each day what he needed for the next day at the sitter (approx. 16-18 ounces). I was pumping three times during the work day and waking up early (between 2 and 4 a.m.) to pump. People think I'm crazy for waking up in the early morning but it has always been my best pump session so I felt I needed to do it for my baby.

 

When my supply decreased, I noticed that it didn't matter if I pumped all three times during my work day so I started taking out my morning pump session and just pumping at lunch and before picking up James. Nowadays, rather than pumping 18 oz. of milk per day, I'm only able to get 6-12 oz. per day. Because of this, my extra stash is almost no more. I only have two extra bags in the freezer. I'm basically being forced to start mixing what I have with formula.

 

For some reason, this makes me feel like a FAILURE. I know I shouldn't feel this way. I've done absolutely everything I can to exclusively breastfeed my child. I ultimately have no control over my supply. I'm not asking for advice on how to increase it because I've tried a lot of things over my almost 11 months as a mother. I'm seriously not looking forward to walking into the store today and buying my first container of formula. I know it's so weird but I just feel awful.

 

James' doctor gave me a sample and he seems to like it but every time I shake that stuff up, I feel guilty...like I'm robbing my child of the greatness of breast milk. I know formula is fine, I just feel like I worked so hard for almost 11 months for nothing.

 

Are there any other moms out there who have felt this way?